i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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