When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
