Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Welp...herpes.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
