Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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