Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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