he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
