I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
