a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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