that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
