There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
