Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
