Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Someone shattered a urinal.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
