you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
my sisters under your porch take her home
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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