Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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