U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
