You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
