I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
