The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
