C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
