Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
