Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
