WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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