carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
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