awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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