the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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