just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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