Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
