So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
