ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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