Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
