I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
