You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
