Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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