the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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