trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She bit a glass in half.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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