I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
