i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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