So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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