i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
