Can i not drive my cunt home
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
