Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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