Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
