just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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