just survived the first fart of the relationship.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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