I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize