can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
