and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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