Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize