I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
