I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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