they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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