The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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