***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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