Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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