I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
