If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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