He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
