I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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