butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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