while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
