Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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