Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
