I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Say something about gay babies.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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