i think my tv is drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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